Bruce’s Embarrassing Moments – Confession Is Good For The Soul
I wonder why the Great Creator gave us embarrassment? Why do we need to have that emotional and physical recoil when things go horribly wrong. Embarrassing moments have all helped to shape our psyche and self esteem over the years. I saw this on the website Reddit and it reminded me of some of my not so good times. For some reason I feel compelled to share those times with you in hopes cleansing my own soul of my unintended faux pas. They say confession is good for the soul and it can be rather funny too.
That Shoe Store Commercial- When I was just getting started in the business or radio broadcasting at the age of 15 we did a lot of live commercials. One in particular was for a business that was named Shoe City. The copy was supposed to be read, “Shoe City, Shoe City, Shoe City now with three times the savings.” That wasn’t how I read the spot. I mixed up the “SH” sound in shoe with the “S” sound in city and it came out….wrong, very wrong.
You have to remember this was the late 70′s and even Clint Eastwood wasn’t allowed to say “hell” on the radio. I had dropped the “S-Bomb” three times and then three times more when I tried to correct myself. Fortunately the station manager was too busy laughing to fire me. It is amazing how many people came up to me in the following weeks and told me they “heard’ my commercial. Radio Gets Results!
My Milk Dud Incident- I like Milk Duds. Milk Duds are small and if you aren’t careful you can easily drop them and not notice where they land. In this case I dropped a “dud” into my seat at school and the proceeded to sit on it. The warmth of my body combined with the soft chocolate goodness of the “dud” proceeded to create a gooey brown mess on the back of my blue jeans. I was wondering why I kept getting snickers and laughs from strangers as I walked across campus. I guess the brown spot on my backside, which I didn’t discover until later, was the reason for sudden notoriety.
Sitting Down With The Wrong Date- My wife will tell you I don’t pay attention to details. I like to think thoughts are moving through my brain so fast I don’t have time for the little things. Jill says I am just lost in my own little world. Such was the case many years ago when I had invited a lovely co-ed out for a beverage, some food and a movie. She was a lovely girl. Her hair was brown and big in the true 1980′s style. She wore some bright colored Esprit clothes as did a lot of the girls of that time.
My date and I were enjoying our beverages and chatting like young people do when I excused myself to visit the little disc jockey’s room. When I returned I sat down and continued my suave and debonair assault of romantic intentions. I couldn’t help but notice my date suddenly had grown cold and looked very surprised to see me. Her boyfriend was even more disappointed to find me in his seat when he returned from the bar. I had sat down at the wrong table with the wrong girl. In just one quick trip to the restroom I had gone from interesting guy to total jackwagon.
I Brought A Duck To School- Not really, I don’t even own a duck but the noise that came out of my body sounded like a duck and I sure wish I had a duck to blame it on at the time. As an early morning DJ the idea of leaving work and then sitting in a college class was not very appealing. Still I did what a lot of you have done or are doing now, I went to work and then to class and promptly fell asleep. I was awakened by the sound of one of the loudest farts I have ever heard. It was so loud it caused me to begin laughing uncontrollably. It was only then that I realized that I had provided the sound effects and I was sitting in a lecture hall surrounded by many very shocked faces.
I did what I thought was the only thing I could do at the time. Since I had already interrupted the lecture, I stood up at my seat and with every one watching I stretched out my arms and said. ” TA- DAAAA”.
Wow do I feel better. Now that you know what you’ve suspected all of these years that I am a total goofball, it feels good to step out from behind my dirty little secrets. So what are your most embarrassing moments? Have you ever called someone by the wrong name while being intimate? Have you ever broken wind during jumping jacks in gym class? Have you ever turned in a test paper with a hair stuck to it? Life is full of these wonderful moments that add the color red to our faces and our world.