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Bruce’s Favorite Funny Drink Names

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townsquareblogs.com

Dang it’s hot and we haven’t even gotten to Summer. That means it’s time to start thinking of fun ways to beat the heat. Nothing helps you cool down faster than an ice cold beverage or two. I gave up drinking the hard stuff a long time ago so I stick mainly to the Arnold Palmer. I think Arnold Palmer has a lot in common with George Foreman. Most people under 40 know Arnold more for the drink than the real reason he’s famous. That same demographic thinks George Foreman invented a grill and had nothing to do with the Olympics or the sport of boxing.

As you read through the name of some of the drinks I have selected for you, try to guess what some of the ingredients might be. Then follow our links to the recipes and stop by your favorite store and get what need to whip up a batch. You might just find your new Fuzzy Navel in our list.

Rump Shaker: As I ponder the name of this drink I wonder what sort of elixir would motivate my large white backside to begin to shake. It would have to be pretty strong, I’ve got a lot of rump to shake but oddly enough this isn’t a drink to put you on our backside. This concoction will probably help make the whitest amongst us a great dancer until the You Tube video hits the web. Want to know what’s in your  Rump Shaker?

Gorilla Fart: I don’t care if this drink will give me super powers I would not utter these words in public and then proceed to put a beverage with that name to my lips. You might be different. So what do you think would be in a Gorilla Fart? You’re probably thinking a banana liqueur and pinto beans. Based upon the recipe you would be no where close but you would be acting like you were King Kong. I still wouldn’t order it and wouldn’t kiss anyone who would drink it, even if it was Kellie Pickler.

Woo Woo: This is a drink that will make you sound intoxicated just by ordering it. It reminds me of a story of a horse I once bet on named Mel’s Woo Woo. The condensed version is I won a lot of money with a lucky hunch bet on that horse and in the ensuing celebration I some how wound up in the Phoenix airport with a bag of charcoal. The manly man will have to be careful when and were he orders his Woo Woo as there are social stereotypes associated with the drink, not that there is anything wrong with that. Want to know what goes in before your Woo Woo goes down?

Hairy Armpit: Well that just sounds delicious doesn’t it. I can just hear the bar chatter now, “I’d like a Gorilla Fart for me and my lady will take a Hairy Armpit.” Just the name of this drink makes me want to clean my tongue with a Dyson vacuum cleaner. So do you really think you want to wake up the next day with a pounding head, a dry mouth and remnants of something called a Hairy Armpit all over your sheets? If that sounds like your idea of good time, here is how you can have your very own Hairy Armpit.

General Lee: Ahh give me something cold and that reminds me of Luke,Bo and Boss Hogg. Fans of the Dukes of Hazzard TV show are way to smart to drink this drivel. It’s a shame that a drink with one of the most honored names in TV has to be created in such an uptown manner. You’d think a General Lee would be two part moonshine, one part gator wizz and some pickle juice but no. It’s one of those city boy recipes that is probably only enjoyed by people who liked Jessica Simpson more than the original Daisy Duke. If you must lower your standards, here is how you can drink a General Lee, it won’t help you jump a creek but you could be up one without a paddle if you try to drive after too many of them.

 

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