Bruce’s Most Misplaced Items At The Grocery Store
I do a lot of the grocery shopping for my family. The reason I do is because I do most of the cooking so I know what we need and how much to buy. I spend a lot of time in the Albertsons, Winn Dixie and Rouses too. Each grocery store has it good points and not so good points but they all like to play hide and seek with me. Here are just a few of my complaints about where they put certain products. Here are some examples of product placement that makes no sense at all.
Taco Seasoning Mix– They have entire aisles dedicated to Mexican food. Taco kits, jars of nacho cheese stuff, they even have tortillas in a thousand different sizes and recipes. The savvy shopper would think that the taco seasoning mix would be right there next to all of this Mexican goodness because Tacos are a Mexican food right? You would be wrong my friend. The taco seasoning is hidden next to the sauces and gravy mixes. Why? I am thinking the people that put the stuff out on the the aisles for shoppers have never made tacos. It makes no sense. So the next time you want to make tacos, think gravy or Hollandaise sauce and you will find that little envelope of spicy goodness.
Bread Crumbs– I know I deserve a big kick in the pants for even buying bread crumbs but some of my more popular recipes call for them and I cook at a very high standards. Where would you think crumbs of bread would be located in the store? If you guessed on the bread aisle you will be searching until long after the Saints defense actually makes a tackle. The bread crumbs are located on the baking aisle. I know you’re thinking flour is just raw bread crumb but the product has bread in the name, it should be under the sign of the same name.
Cheese in a Can– The thinking person would think, “cheese”, this is where the Cheez Whiz would have to be located. The cheese department has imported moldy butt smelling cheese, cheese that looks as though it was worn on feet and cheese so foul tasting it’s got to be good for you but no cheese in a can. That is because the cheese in a can is next to the cookies. That’s right the cookies! Granted the cookies also tend to be fairly close to the crackers but I am going for irony so work with me. Do you really think the different flavors of cheese in a can taste different? I can tell you, they don’t. But they all taste great on a Triscuit with a slice of pepperoni
Pepperoni– The bastard sausage of the cold meat case. Pepperoni is sausage. Why can’t they put it next to the sausage? Why does pepperoni need to be place on some mid aisle traffic blocker near the three day old meat? Is the grocery store trying to tell us that pepperoni is nothing more than an after thought? Here is an idea, pepperoni is almost exclusively used to make what dish? Pizza! Why isn’t it on a rack near the frozen pizzas? It doesn’t need to be refrigerated so it can go anywhere. The only other place it would make sense to put it would be next to the cheese in a can.
Tea in a bottle– There is a coffee and tea aisle at most grocery stores where you can buy tea bags, coffee grounds, coffee beans and instant tea and coffee. If you want your tea already mixed and made you have but one choice. You must travel extensively to find your quest. If someone does not drink hard liquor or beer they are said to be a tea-sipper. That would imply that tea would be the original soft drink. That would then imply that the tea should be on the same aisle as the soda pop which is labeled on the big sign above as “soft drinks”. It is not there. The tea will be at least one aisle over next to the water. If you want Crystal Light tea you have to head back to another aisle and find the Kool-Aid . It is so confusing, maybe because all of us customers are suffering from dehydration.
Coffee in a bottle– My wife likes these specialty coffee drinks because she doesn’t have to wake up early to make coffee and they have a lid that prevents spills. One would think that a Community Coffee Mochasippi or a Starbucks Frappucino would be near the coffee right? WRONG! These wonderful beverages are found next to the energy drinks. Yep, you can find them next to the Monsters and Full Throttles and Red Bulls. I get the connection in a round about way but they are coffee. The store has a coffee aisle why can’t you put them there?
I realize not every store is the same, some stores do have these items in the right places and some stores are just messing with our minds. What item can you never find at the store? Is it Shake-N- Bake? I think they move that every week just to mess with my head.