Miranda Lambert has a great new song out right now called All Kinds Of Kinds. The song celebrates the differences that we all have. It is these differences that make us all so similar. I know it's an existential concept, but you're going to think I am completely normal once you meet this crazy cat lady.

According to her, petting a cat is no longer acceptable. Your cat needs to be massaged. Based upon watching her video, cat massaging appears to be strikingly similar to petting, at least in my eyes. I can understand the concept she is trying to teach but how do you know the animal really likes it?

I do however agree with her thought that we all like to be touched. Touching is our purest form of communication. We touch as babies and continue to touch until the courts tell us it is no longer permissible. I would agree, if I were a cat, that this form of touching is a lot better than just a stroke or two of the fur. But if you're going to invest that much time in quality contact, why not spend that time with someone who is of your own species.