How Would Louisiana Fare In The Zombie Apocalypse?
Face it, the zombie apocalypse is going to happen. It’s not a matter of IF, it’s a matter of WHEN. No? OK, you’re probably right. However when, I mean if it does happen, how will we Louisianians fare? According to this chart from Estately.com, not very well.
Alaska is best prepared to survive the impending zombie hordes. Louisiana clocks in AT NUMBER 44! Better start getting used to the taste of brains I guess. Start the rice!
How did Estately.com rank all 50 states? Here’s what they looked at:
- Active Military Personnel: States with more soldiers per capita means states with more people who are physically fit, trained to fight, and have access to weapons (source).
- Military Veterans: Percentage of veterans per capita is a solid way of measuring fighting experience (source).
- Physically Active: States with residents who rarely get out of their Laz-E-Boy will not escape the zombie menace (source).
- Martial Arts Enthusiasts: Hand-to-hand combat is an important skill when the ammo runs out (source—percentage of Facebook users who listed “martial arts” as an interest).
- People with Survival Skills: In the long run, knowing how to survive without modern conveniences in a collapsed society will be critical (source—percentage of Facebook users who listed “survival skills” as an interest).
- People with Knowledge of Zombies: To know your enemy you must know their ways (source—percentage of Facebook users who listed “zombies, Resident Evil, Zombieland, and The Walking Dead” as interests).
- Laser Tag Enthusiasts: Yes, laser tag. Few things prepare you for a zombie attack in enclosed space (source—percentage of Facebook users who listed “laser tag” as an interest).
- People with Guns: Shooting a zombie in the head is really the best way to defeat a zombie, and to do that you need a gun (source).
- Obesity: The obesity epidemic will yield to the zombie epidemic because the obese will struggle with running away from zombies. It’s really very simple (source).
- Paintball Enthusiasts: Those who can slink around the woods unnoticed while splattering their enemies with paint will find success shooting zombies in nature (source—percentage of Facebook users who listed “paintball” as an interest).
- Triathletes: When everything breaks down, running, swimming, and bicycling will be ideal ways to escape zombies (source—percentage of Facebook users who listed ”Ironman triathlon” as an interest)