I enjoy perusing the website Reddit. The contributors to the site are generally intuitive, intellectual, opinionated, and irreverent.  In other words, they are my kind of people. The site calls itself the 'front page of the internet' and I have found in many cases that to be quite true.

One of my favorite subreddits on the site is called Shower Thoughts. It gets its name from something we all do in the shower, develop deep significant thoughts while the hot water relaxes our brains. In this case the Shower Thought that caught my attention was "I wonder what my dog named me?"

What a great question! We all pick names for our dogs. Sometimes that name makes perfect sense, other times it doesn't . Still, the dog is stuck with the name we give it or more importantly what we choose to call it. I am sure in the dog's mind he has names for us too.

In my family we have deduced that Cotton, the world's dumbest dog, has in fact given us all names. Jill, my wife, she is called "The M'am". I am guessing the dog decided to call her that based upon the yes m'am, no m'am culture we have at our house. He probably figured that "M'am' was a name and not a term of respect. By the way, you should teach your children to say yes m'am and no m'am, it will help them in their adult lives.

Jack, my son, he is called Jacksies by the dog.  It might sound like that name is a playful adaptation of the name Jack but it has deeper undertones. It comes from the combination of the word Jack and the word see. As in, Jack sees where the ball went.  Jack sees the food bowl is empty. Jack sees me crapping on the living room floor. Jack sees that if he leaves the crap alone Mom or Dad will have to clean it up.

Anna, my daughter, gets a moniker that's easy to understand. She is "The Loud One". Oddly enough that is a very fitting name for Anna. She doesn't yell all the time but like her father she possesses a very distinct voice. It cuts through the clutter of conversation, televisions, construction equipment, and nuclear explosions.  For Cotton the dog, there is no mistaking when Anna is calling his name.

Me, Bruce, yours truly, I get the name "Fat One". I am guessing it is because I am fat and there is only one of me. Cotton the dog and I don't get along. He is definitely Jill's dog and he knows it. He understands that I see right through his cuteness and think he is basically a little cotton fluff smart ass.

So what do you think your dog named you? It's something to think about when you don't want to think about anything too important. I suggest you go jump in the shower and let the warm water wash over your brain. Then you'll begin to see the clarity of the obtuse thought that can only be achieved in the shower.