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Jude’s Super Scary Backyard Spider Encounter

OK, maybe that title is a tad dramatic. But when you’re as ignorant as I am when it comes to spiders, they will all tend to scare the ever living daylights out of you!

That’s exactly what happened to me yesterday while I was trying to mow my grass hay. Picture it, middle of the day, sweating your tail off pushing your mower and trying not to inhale all the dust that lack of rain brings to you. Your head’s down, focused on trying to maximize every inch of your mower’s path. You come up to your kid’s jungle gym set thing-a-ma-bob and are weaving in and out of aforementioned do-a-ma-flotchy, when you suddenly and frighteningly come upon this:

Spidey 1
Oh, you’re saying you can’t see the beast. Well, how about this:

Spidey 2
Still not making you weep like a school girl?!? You weren’t there man! YOU…WEREN’T…THERE!!!

Spidey 3
See! I told you it was a beast! After seconds…no minutes of fighting with this monster, he/she/shim got away. One second I was taking it down with my deathstick (aka my yard broom), the next second it just disappears. I swear it shot out a web out of its hind quarter and just flew away.

My backyard is no longer safe. If I invite you to a barbecue at Chez Walker, you come at your own risk.

Oh, by the way, I think this is a banana spider. Not poisonous, right? And does anyone know what do the poisonous ones around here look like? I just run from them all!

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