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ButtleOpener: The Butt Cheek Bottle Opener Was Too Hot For NASCAR

ButtleOpener is a life-size replica of a woman’s panty-clothed buttocks that serves as a novelty beer bottle opener. Because, of course it is. Watch the ButtleOpener in Action:

While we readily acknowledge that there is probably a woman somewhere in America who can perform this practical function with her real-life lady parts (and, no, we haven’t seen that video yet), we think that the ButtleOpener may be seen as an engineering marvel that would be a fine addition to your basement bar, rod and gun club or local honky-tonk.

But you won’t hear that important ma

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Kobalt Tools 400
Jerry Markland/Getty Images for NASCAR
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Tony Stewart Smokes Jimmie Johnson For NASCAR Win At Las Vegas

Tony Stewart is known around the NASCAR garages as Smoke. Jimmie Johnson is known as 5-time, a reference to the number of times Johnson has won stock car racing's series championship. Sunday afternoon at Las Vegas Motor Speedway "Smoke" slipped through a crack in "5-times" defense and drove away with the victory in the Kobalt Tools 400.

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Indy 500 Winner Killed In Massive Fiery Crash [Video]

Indy Racing League officials have announced that driver Dan Wheldon has died from injuries sustained in this horrific crash. The remaing laps of the race have been cancelled.

 Car racing is a sport that is not for the faint of heart. What you are about to see is terrifying. Thank goodness safety is such an important issue in every form of automotive sport today.  This is the final race of the season for the Indy Racing League, the big story was supposed to be Danica Patrick's farewell ride from open wheel racing to NASCAR. I think this terrible crash is going to overshadow that story by quite a bit.

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