The Krewe De Bayou Red Hot Mardi Gras Ball is set for Valentines Day. This is a Godsend to a lot of us who populate the male side of the gender divide. Here is why it's such a great thing for the guys. It's a dress up event. Ladies love dress up events. It's on Valentines Day so you'll be taking her out to do something special on Valentines. It's a Mardi Gras Ball, what woman from Louisiana doesn't love Mardi Gras and it's very affordable too.

To me the only quandary is what is a man supposed to wear that is red. When I say red suit who comes to mind? That's exactly who I thought of too. I have tons of red stuff because of my support for the Ragin Cajuns but none of my tailgate attire has been deemed Mardi Gras Ball worthy.

Another issue I have is that most suits in flashy colors are cut for hunky, skinny, Magic Mike built guys. My shape is less like a male dancer and more like a male underwear model. Don't you think that's what I would look like in a red suit?

I did find a few places to get red suits online. There is this European Look. There is also this "I open doors at hotels" look. There is the Liberace on fire look.  There is the "I look like I belong on a bottle of booze" look. There is also the "here is what a portly gentleman dressed in red suit looks like" look.

I don't know if any of these looks will flatter my heavenly body. Mars is a heavenly body and it's round so I am not out of line in making the comparison. My lovely bride Jill will be dressed in something stunning and mouth watering. My former queen Tracy Wirtz will be dripping with glamor. Krista and Jill from the morning show will be all sexy and hot and seductive and I will look like a zit that needs to be squeezed.