The legendary Homer Simpson once said, "Here's to alcohol; the cause of and answer to all of life's problems". I am sure this Green Bay Packers fan can relate to a beer bloated Homer, especially after the resounding thumping the Pack took the hands of the New York Football Giants this past Sunday. I think as fans we've all been in this lady's shoes. Well maybe not that drunk but we've all felt that just because we didn't wear a certain jersey or make a certain food that we cause our team bad karma.

We just wish we had that much control over professional football. The truth of the matter is professional football is scripted just like a TV sitcom. The winners and losers are predetermined by a staff of writers. The pre-season is merely rehearsal for the actors players who are responsible for creating story lines and selling lots of merchandise.

You might be asking why did the NFL allow both the Packers and the Saints to lose? It's really quite simple, now people will have a reason to watch the Pro Bowl. It creates a story line, who is the better Quarterback. Why will the Giants play New England in the Superbowl? It's a story line. Do you remember when New England was undefeated a few years back and the Giants whipped them in the big game? It's redemption time for the boys from Boston and it's also the perfect set up to make the game meaningful for the nations largest TV market, New York. It also gives the NFL the chance to showcase one of the most loved and hated teams, coach and quarterback with New England.

It's all a show people, just like Seinfeld, Friends and Three's Company.  The program has to be intriguing or people won't watch. When people don't watch TV networks can't demand stupid amounts of money for Superbowl commercials. When the TV networks don't make money they can't sign the big contracts to carry the games. Ahh the circle of life as it relates to NFL football. Okay now that you know the truth, watch this drunk hag cry over her team losing.

Editor's note: Bruce Mikells has a vivid imagination and makes a lot of stuff up.