Saving A Damsel In Distress – All In A Day’s Work For Bruce Mikells

What does it take to become a legend? Is it tenure? Is it the deeds you've done? Is it the stories that others share about you? I don't know because I am not a legend. I am a disc jockey who saw a co-worker in distress and decided this would be a great forum to share a couple of basic ideas.

The first idea and I believe this with every fiber of my being, help somebody if you can. It's a simple truth and was the title of song by Van Zant a few years back. I like the song and I love the message. Our world would be a better place if we all took a minute to just be helpful where we can.

The second basic idea is this. Vending machine are like slot machines, you're gambling but instead of money sometimes you're betting on pork rinds. My dear friend and co-worker for far longer than she cares to admit Bernadette Lee found herself gambling at our office buffet distribution center. The machine told her that her bet of a dollar should pay off in pork rinds and then came the dreaded malfunction.

I do not recommend that you ever attempt to do what I just demonstrated. Vending machines , excuse me, slot machines are not built to be bullied. They can tip over and crush people. I have been trained in slot machine snack extrication. It's an extensive 5 minute course I took while I was drunk one time at bus station in Montgomery Alabama.  I am a trained professional. Watch my technique, learn from it, but don't you dare try it without proper certification and supervision.