It has been my experience that dead people don't eat that much, however in the state of Louisiana we continue to provide funding to feed them months after they have crossed over. I now see why the surviving family members throw a parade.
The next time you think it would be funny to scare the living daylights out of someone, you might want to consider this: medical experts say that an intense fright can severely stun the heart, enough even to kill a perfectly healthy human being.
Funerals are like those Lifetime movie marathons our women watch -- we hate them so much that a sturdy kick in the balls would be better than sitting through one. Unless of course said funeral is amped up with a couple of funeral strippers, in which case, awesome. Other than that, what else could possibly make such a depressing and sappy crap fest more bearable? How about not actually being dead?
Our hearts go out to Jake Owen, who lost his dear godmother, Pearl, on Tuesday (July 10). Owen may not talk about her much in interviews, but if you look closely, you can spot a tattoo of Pearl’s name on the country star’s left wrist.
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