Why Barack Obama’s Healthcare Plan Owes You A Beer
The loophole. It has been saving the butts of American taxpayers for decades and I think I might have just found one that will make you fall in love what some people call Obamacare. From what I understand, the President wants every American to have access to healthcare. Under this Affordable Care Act that would mean we will be encouraged to visit clinics and practitioners who offer us goods and services that help keep us healthy. I recently read a study based out of Japan where the results found that drinking beer has many healthy properties. The study found that beer contained many antiviral tendencies. Antiviral is the same stuff they use in soap, first aid cream and in hospitals so it’s got to be good medicine right?
By definition that would make a place that serves beer not a bar but “a clinic” and your friendly neighborhood bartender “a healthcare practitioner”. So here is why, based on the President’s own plan, I believe he owes me and you a beer.
You must have a beer whether you want one or not: If what I understand about the President’s plan we are all bound by the law to have healthcare. If my healthcare clinic happens to have pinball machines and live music that is just a plus for me. I need my antiviral medicine, beer, to keep me well.
What if you can’t afford a beer? According to the President’s plan your tab should be picked up by wealthier Americans. Since every American is entitled to healthcare it is only fair that Donald Trump, Warren Buffett and Mark Zuckerberg take care of that next long neck. Socialized medicine is a lot like socialized drinking, let your rich friends buy the first ten or fifteen rounds.
Students can drink on their parent’s tab: If you are student, under the President’s plan you can stay on your parent’s insurance until you are 26 years of age. That means those of legal drinking age should be able to drink on their parent’s tab until they are 26. I see this as a reason to go on to graduate school or a reason why we have so many 25 year old freshmen.
You can patronize the bar of your choosing: The president’s plan allows for Americans to be seen by a doctor of their choice. That means if beer is now considered an antiviral medicine you should be able to get yours dispensed at the “clinic” or watering hole of your choice. I think this plan would really encourage American’s to seek second, third, fourth and fifth opinions every weekend.
Your designated driver has flashing lights on his truck: Since the ability to get to and from your health care provider is of the utmost importance. You can now secure an ambulance as your designated driver. Not only will this cut down on drinking and driving, you can lay down on your way to the house or your next clinic visit.
I would love to tell you that this unique interpretation of the President’s healthcare initiative was all mine but it is not. It is based upon and conversation with our dear friend and right thinking American Earl Pitts.
You can check out more of Earl’s interesting ideas every morning on the Bruce and the Kennel Club show at 7:45 and on the way home with Stephanie Crist at 6:45. This just might be that one time we all need to support our president and rally around his plan for the country.