The Midnight Writer

Summer vacation is the greatest time in a kid's life. No school. No bullies. No teachers. No worries.

It's every child's dream to stumble upon a hidden treasure in their very own home. Think how many hours of youth are spent knocking on hollow walls, digging in the backyard and exploring crawl spaces in the hopes of finding something, anything, of value.

At one point in time, everybody knew Mr. Rogers. It was almost impossible to turn on the television and not catch Fred throwing on his signature cardigan or Bobo shoes and teaching people about the way bread is made or why dogs are constantly sticking their noses up one another's anus...

McDonald's is shaking up its menu. Except, instead of adding a hundred new items as usual, the Golden Arches is giving the golden axe to some crowd favorites.

Les Miles is a successful college football coach. Les Miles isn't so great at Twitter. He's got it half right at least, live-tweeting the Lakers and Heat tussle on NBC yesterday.

Remember Sam Gordon, the 9-year-old female version of Tecmo Bo Jackson? So does NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. Her Pee Wee football highlight reel and gaudy season stats got the attention of NFL executives. She was invited to the Super Bowl in New Orleans after hanging out with Goodell at a Giants game.

If you collect enough junk, and add up the value, it will eventually be worth something -- especially if you attach all that crap to a limo.

In this teaser for Discovery channel's upcoming documentary series Africa — which premieres January 8th — two giraffe go absolutely bonkers on one another.

You can't take it with you. Isn't that the expression people always use when they want your stuff after you drop dead? Mr. Allen Swift knew he couldn't take his 1928 Rolls-Royce Piccadilly P1 Roadster with him to the afterlife, but he made sure it was well taken care of after they tossed him into the ground.

Wallets are for granddad and kids with a Velcro obsession. Real men use money clips or just fold their dough into their front pants pocket. These are the normal, yet not always safe, options.

The Urban Shredder from Hot Wheels looks like every kid's moist dream and every parent's biggest nightmare.

Talking to women is easy (for most of us) but actually figuring out where they all hang out can sometimes prove to be the difficult part. We’re not talking about nighttime or weekends, that's easy; where are the women during working hours? After all...

Remember that time you got super drunk, duct taped couch cushions to your body and smashed into things around the house like a human pinball? You don't? Well you were super drunk so that doesn't shock us.