The Updated, But Unofficial Rules for Driving In Lafayette (Opinion)

The Updated, But Unofficial Rules for Driving In Lafayette (Opinion)

Photo by Ilia Mohammadshahi on Unsplash

(99.9 KTDY) - Driving around the city of Lafayette can be so relaxing and calm, provided that you are driving at 5 o'clock in the morning or between the hours of 6 a.m. and 9 a.m. on a Sunday. Driving at any other time in Lafayette is a dangerous, rage-filled exercise.

Lafayette is a wonderful city full of amazing restaurants, fun experiences, and kind, loving people. The only time most of us turn into evil zombies is when we are driving through Lafayette. I'm sorry, but many of us can turn into evil people. Our southern manners are gone with the wind. And, let's face it, driving here can be maddening.

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People in any town probably think their drivers are the worst. In Lafayette, traffic can be a nightmare depending on where you live and where you work. Some days, getting around feels like you are driving through a strange obstacle course.

Drivers in Lafayette traffic can be very expressive with their facial expressions and hand gestures. You know exactly what I mean when you get the one-finger salute. Driving in Lafayette is like dealing with a screaming kid whose parents choose not to take them outside the store you're in. You end up feeling on edge.

As Lafayette has grown over the last several decades, our traffic flow doesn't always seem to keep up with what we need. No city has a perfect traffic plan, and no city has perfect drivers. We need more lanes on so many roadways in this city.

It's an adventure out there! It's crazy out there! If you don't drive defensively, you won't make it where you are going without crashing. The insane way that people drive in Lafayette makes you want to stay inside, but since we can't, it's time for some "Rules" of the road. Please remember, this is a tongue-in-cheek list.

"Rules" For Driving in Lafayette

1.  First, you must learn to pronounce the city name.  It's LAF-EE-YET.
2.  Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere.  Lafayette has its own version of traffic rules.  It's called hold on and pray.
3.  All directions start with either, "Get on Ambassador.  Get on Johnston.  Or Get on Kaliste Saloom".
4.  The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic a "scenic drive" because you can see everything when you are caught in traffic.
5.  Morning rush hour is from 6 until 10.  Afternoon/Evening rush hour is from 3 until 7.  Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon.
6.  If you stop at a yellow light, you will get rear-ended.
7.  A yellow light is actually for the next 6-8 vehicles to speed up and run through.
8.  Construction is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment.
9.  Traffic circles cannot be used properly by approx 80% of drivers.
10.  If you see someone with their turn signal on, it's a factory defect.
11.  Old ladies with blue hair always have and make their own right of way. I might or might not be an old lady..........I'm an old lady!
12.  Lots of streets mysteriously change names as you cross intersections.
13.  Horns are used before brakes and blinkers.
14.  A trip from Mid-Lafayette to Youngsville takes a minimum of 1 hour.
15.  If you leave one car length for every 10mph between you and the next vehicle, 3 people will cut you off.
16.  When a light turns from green to red, you will wait at least 5 seconds while the person in front of you finishes texting. Time to lay on that horn!
17.  T-boy in a jacked-up pickup truck WILL cut you off, every time, no exceptions.
18.  Nobody yields for first responders.
19.  People stop at a yield sign and blow through a stop sign.
20.  Headlights on during thick fog is optional.
21.   Friday's rush hour actually starts Thursday afternoon.
22.   People will stop in the middle of an intersection if the light is green.
23.   No one driving in Lafayette can be bothered to stop for those "pesky" red lights. 
You may agree or disagree, but one thing is for sure: you can probably add to this list.

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Categories: Lafayette News

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