The Unofficial Guide to #LafayetteMath: Where Numbers Meet Local Nonsense

Are you familiar with #LafayetteMath? It's very similar to the recent viral trend on TikTok called #GirlMath. You know, the one where people (men and women) use fuzzy math to justify their spending choices or other life decisions?

Well, we thought it would be fun to give this trend a little Cajun twist and introduce you to #LafayetteMath!

1. No Parking, No Problem: Complaining there's "no parking" just because you can't park your vehicle right at the front door.
2. The Time Warp: In Lafayette, "the other day" could mean yesterday, last week, or even a year ago.
3. Kaliste Konundrum: You gotta consider the time of day before making any travel decisions involving Kaliste Saloom or Ambassador Caffery.
4. Time Relativity: Car line time vs. Actual time. What's the difference, right?
5. Daiquiri Logic: Buying (and drinking) an entire gallon of daiquiris because it's "a better deal."
6. Red Light Race: People who speed past you just to get to the red light faster. Makes total sense.
7. Swirl Economics: The sangria swirl at LaFonda is basically a 2-for-1 drink special.
8. Crawfish Calculus: 1 person = 5 lbs. of crawfish. No debate.
9. Wine Math: Pay a $10 cover to drink free wine "all night."
10. Chimes Time: Waiting 2 hours to eat at Chimes of Lafayette when two other locations are only 45 minutes away.
11. Johnston Street Jive: Going right and turning around instead of taking a left on Johnston Street.
12. King Cake Calories: Oh, they don’t count. Period.
13. Club Cover: Getting your wristband early to avoid paying a cover charge.
14. Cookie Bargain: One Caroline’s Cookie is 4 servings so it’s actually a deal, y'all.
15. Time Travel to Maurice: Thinking it still takes just 10 minutes to get to Maurice from UL campus.
16. Concert Clock: Doors open at 7p, but the show doesn't actually start 'til 11p.
17. Snow Day!: One snowflake on the ground = all schools closed.
18. Roundabout Route: Giving directions in terms of the number of roundabouts.
19. Marley’s Logic: Scheduling later classes on Thursday because Wednesday is Power Hour at Marley's.
20. Gym Ghost: Paying $65 a month for a Red Lerille's tag but never actually going.
21. Ambassador Anomaly: Takes 35 minutes to get from Ambassador to Ambassador. ‍♀️
22. Legend’s Warning: Drink more than one Legend's margarita and think you'll be OK in the morning. Spoiler: you won't be.
23. Party Metrics: Your party days are measured by the number of City Bar cups and t-shirts you own.
24. Gumbo Gauge: Cooking a gumbo the minute temps drop below 70 degrees.
25. Griffin Hall Elevator Skip: Schedule an English class on the 3rd floor right before a History class on the 5th floor to save yourself from climbing all those stairs!
26. Popeyes Parity: 2 wings = 1 breast when they're out of spicy.
27. Camellia Cruise: Driving 55 down Camellia and 35 down Ambassador.
28. Spirit Season: Empty building + Fall breeze = Spirit Halloween store.
29. Gas Tank Guess: If the tank's on E, you've got about 20 miles before "EE."
30. Food in Pounds: Asking for food in pounds because we can’t do the math on the price.
31. Wash Ratio: 2 car washes per 1 intersection.
32. Road Work Reality: Road construction = come back in 20 years.
33. Ticket Technicality: If it didn't come from an actual human police officer, it doesn't count.
34. Dinner Dilemma: More restaurants per capita than anywhere else, and yet nowhere to eat on a Saturday night.
35. Gift Card Logic: If you have a gift card, whatever you're buying is technically free.
36. Youngsville Yarn: "I'm from Lafayette" (but actually lives in Youngsville).
37. "Few Drinks" Fallacy: When we say "a few drinks," we all know what that means.

Whew! That was a wild ride! Think we nailed #LafayetteMath? By the way, that was just the tip of the iceberg. Check the original post for even more hilarious mental gymnastics when it comes to our unique local logic.

Got your own examples? Drop 'em in the comments above, cher!