Alien Invasion Survival: Louisiana Ranks Sixth In The Nation

(KMDL-FM) If there were an alien invasion from outer space, not from across a river, and those invaders attempted to take over Louisiana, what do you think the Bayou State's residents' chances would be for survival? Oddly enough, there is a new study out that reveals our chances of sending E.T. back home with his phone shoved up his, whatever E.T's call that part of their body.

The new study comes out just ahead of World UFO Day. If you weren't aware or haven't celebrated that monumental day, it's July 2nd. I am sure you can find like-minded individuals who would be willing to party with you on that day as you scan the skies looking for cigar-shaped objects while you clench your glutes over probe concerns.

How Was Louisiana's Alien Survivability Index Curated?

The study, which was done by Casino.ca, yeah, they are a casino outfit and probably not the most scientifically structured for space exploration information, but they did put together a well-thought-out survey and brought up many concerns that I think a lot of us would have when it comes to invaders from other worlds.

The study looked at the number of UFO Reports as a major indicator of a potential invasion. They coupled that with an assessment of Water Coastal, Police, Military, National Guard, and Emergency Preparedness.

With those two topics taking up 34% of the alien invasion potential, the study also included information on population density and the amount of rural area and urban area in the state's geographic makeup.

The study also included the amount of forestation, ruggedness, and road ruggedness, which I am sure Louisiana got a high score just for the current condition of the Evangeline Thruway.

They added it all up and determined that Louisiana's survivability index for an alien invasion is 6th in the nation. We earned a score of 90.0 on the Casino.ca index. Maryland, the top state, earned an index score of 98.9.

The rest of the top five included Massachusetts, Virginia, New Jersey, Georgia, and then Louisiana. Alabama came in 7th with an index of 88.0, and Mississippi was 8th with a score of 87.1.

What's the Real Reason Louisiana Would Survive a Close Encounter with Aliens?

I found it interesting that the authors of the study made mention of certain states being willing to stand and fight. I think that sums up Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana. Not only are we well armed, but we are well trained in using those arms.

But probably the biggest concern an alien being wanting to cause trouble in the Deep South should understand is this. Not only are we good at fighting, but we have a recipe to cook your alien appendages. As a matter of fact, we've already got rice in the cooker. So bring it on, E.T. Louisiana is ready, and you look like you'd make a nice sauce piquante.