5 Relationship Red Flags – Bruce Becomes Dr. Phil [Opinion]
I have been married for over 25 years. Does that make me an expert on relationships? The same way being Joan Rivers makes her an expert on fashion. It doesn’t. But I am going to comment on relationships anyway because that is what I do.
I have teenagers in my house and that means a lot of conversation when their friends come over. Mind you this conversation is not with me but it is held loud enough in another room for these worn out disc jockey ears to hear it just fine. From sitting quietly and following the teaching, “The quieter you become, the more you can hear”. I have figured out the following observations to be red flags of warning to anyone in a relationship in this day and age.
Texting: You don’t have to be an Anthony Wiener for this modern form of communication to jump up and bite you in the LOL. Texting isn’t so much about the message as it is the timing of the message. If your significant other always seems to be on their phone around you yet takes a significant amount of time to return a message from you that could be a problem. This holds true for people who don’t have to work for a living by the way. The fact that they are preoccupied with their phone when they are around you and the fact that they don’t have time to text you when they aren’t should tell you there is trouble in what you might think of as paradise.
Little Annoyances: Those little things you do that used to drive her crazy don’t even score a blip on the radar screen anymore. That is when she has checked out and you are left in line holding a buggy full of see you later. We all are annoying. We annoy the people we love most of all. When they stop noticing that we are annoying then they have turned their attention to something or someone else. If this goes on too long you could catch on fire and she won’t even think to bring a bucket of water.
Friends: If you don’t like HER friends then you eventually won’t like here. If you haven’t met HIS friends after you have been together for a few months then you aren’t his girlfriend. Friends are the people we choose to be around. Unlike family that we are forced to hang out with, friends allow us the freedom to be who we really are. If your significant other doesn’t want you seeing them as they really are or if you’ve seen them as they really are and you don’t like them then that is in fact a red flag waving.
Scoreboard: Scoreboards are great for contest. Relationships are not contest.
If you or the one you adore has a thing for keeping score then your love will be no more.
Do you know who said that? It was me I am still writing this article the author hasn’t changed just because I used italics. It is true. If you are in a relationship with someone who can tell you all the things they did for you and when they did them then you are destined to be playing a game the entire life of the relationship. One thing I know about games and contest, they all end. So will a relationship where there is a scoreboard. You should be a team and remember there is no “I” in team.
Minimum Requirements: If you are keeping track of the amount of time you spend together and have established there is a minimum requirement of time you should be together then just quit now. Relationships that are built on true love do not know the meaning of time. Time moves too fast when you are together and too slow when you are apart. Time is not a measure of devotion. It is a measure of some arbitrary amount of existence that we assigned a number to. Your time together is precious with every heartbeat. If it isn’t I suggest you find a different person to pass the time with.
As you can see I a no Dr. Phil, hell I’m not even a Dr. Seuss but I do care about you and I want you to be happy in your pursuit of happily every after because I think that is something that we all deserve.