6 Funny Celebrity Kid Names And Stories To Go With Them
I have written about names on this website before. I wrote about dog names and why we even bother to name our dogs since we very seldom call our dogs by their given name. Today’s rant on names has to do with celebrities and the unusual nomenclature they choose to saddle their offspring with.
The first time I really paid attention to an “interesting” celebrity name was when rocker Frank Zappa announced to the world his kids would be called Dweezil and Moon Unit. I don’t know exactly how Moon acquired her moniker but I do know that Dweezil was named after his mother’s toe.
How about Pilot Inspektor? Do you know who that kid belongs to? Have you ever seen the show My Name Is Earl? That would be actor Jason Lee’s kid. Jason was Earl in case you don’t quite make the connection. How did Jason come up with such an inspired name to make his offspring the butt of many a middle school joke? He took the name from a song. The song is called He’s Simple, He’s Dumb, He’s the Pilot, it’s by a band called Grandaddy. I don’t know where the Inspektor part came from, the Pilot part is more than enough to be concerned about if you ask me.
Kyd, is our next celebrity baby with an unique name. Kyd is the kid of David Duchovny and Tea Leoni. Why call the kid, Kyd? Because Mom and Dad thought it would be neat to be able to holler across the play ground “Hey Kyd” and have other parents think they were speaking with an “I”. That’s just nuts if you ask me. There has to be something in the California water that makes people just stupid.
Here is one celebrity reaching for the heavens to create nomenclature. Sage Moonblood could only belong to Rocky, Judge Dredd, Rambo and Sylvester Stallone. I have to admit I would be hesitant to mess with a guy name Sage Moonblood. Just the blood in the name is enough to keep my mouth shut. So let me say this. Sly, that is a very cute name you have given your child. Quick, let’s move on before he realizes we are making fun of him.
Bono is an Irish rock star that is so shot in the ass with himself he could treat his own hemorrhoids from the inside. The guy does some great humanitarian work, makes mildly entertaining music that is strange people buy a lot of, and he has probably slept in the same room as the Queen of England. That still doesn’t give you a hall pass when it comes to messing up the names of your offspring. Memphis Eve is the name of Bono’s kid. Admit it, you thought of this the moment you read that name didn’t you? Don’t lie you know you did and you know U2 is the most overrated band on the planet.
Our final tip of the generation crushing names cap goes to one of the Jackson clan. No, not Michael, as strange as some his names for his kids are they don’t hold a candle to the big ol’ albatross that Jermaine Jackson placed around the neck of the fruit of his loins. Can you imagine going through life being called Jermajesty. That is the kids name. Jermaine thought of that. He thought it was good. Much like his alleged music he thought of that too and it sucked. Jermaine, you should apologize to your child right this minute.