Well now this goes against all I have been taught and told for so many years. I was told you forgave when you could and the let by gones be by gones. Now scientist are saying that holding a grudge may actually help you hold your relationship together. Read further and we will explain.

"Social scientists, theologians and clinicians have touted the virtues of forgiveness, frequently without attending to its downsides," Finkel wrote in an e-mail to LiveScience. "McNulty's work helps to serve as a corrective to the simple-minded notion that forgiveness is always good."

I find it hard to hold grudges, since my memory is so bad I can't remember what most of our disagreements are about anyway. Jill, my wife, she is good at remembering all my screw ups, she must keep a list but she only brings out the list when needed and I am grateful for that.