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Number 2 – Bruce Explains The Real Difference Between Men And Women [Opinion]

 

Bruce Mikells
Secret Spy Cam Photo

Brad Paisley had big hit a few years ago entitled  “I’m Still A Guy”. In that song Brad laments the differences between the way the female mind and the male mind works. There is no doubt in my mind that while we are of one species we certainly are not of a similar mind. I think it’s not so much a gender issue as it is a physiological issue. To me the reason men aren’t as focused on things the way women are is because men can poop and women can’t.

If reality is the rule then here is what I know to be true. Every man I talked to around the radio station readily admitted to be more regular than a German Railroad. In fact some guys can even give you a time in which the train leaves the station every day. Women are about as predictable as a visit from the cable installer. It could be morning, late morning, early afternoon, late afternoon, after 5 or just not happen at all today.

This uncomfortable feeling is the reason why men and women think so differently. Men can afford to be carefree, forgetful, stupid and non-focused. Women have to keep their minds on the task at hand because when you know you gotta go you have to stay on task.

Cereal
Staff Photo

I recently had the misfortune of eating some of the cereal that you see pictured right here. When I looked at the package, being a carefree man, all I saw was cereal. I did not see, nor understand the hidden meaning in the words “digestive blend”.  Later I would come to find out these words mean ” go to a stall with rails because you’re going to need something to hold on to”.

My wife says this cereal helps. For me this cereal was like swallowing microscopic bulldozers who pushed everything but my liver out of my backside.

I do not mean to disparage the good people at Post or their cereal. I am sure there was a lot of science and research that went into making a great tasting cereal that aids in digestion. I do think they should put a warning label on the box.  For the record, the cereal is delicious but unless I need to lose about 15 pounds in four hours I will be passing on this choice as part of a complete breakfast.

I know this is not the most palatable subject to write about but like Mark Twain said “write what you know” and if you’ve listened to my radio program you know what I am full of. So I have determined that the real reason that men and women think differently is that women are constipated but men are full of it.

On a serious note, guys, we are very uncomfortable talking about our digestive system. Colon Cancer is a killer. Early detection can save your life. The women in our lives have far more embarrassing and uncomfortable exams, yet they get them done. They do that so they can be around to take care of you. I encourage every man over the age of 50 to consult his doctor about what preventative measures need to be taken so you will be on the planet for a good long time.

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