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Super Bowl Dead Horse Stories That Will Be Beaten

The teams are set for this year’s cinematic interpretation of the NFL Championship game or Super Bowl. As usual this over hyped made for TV event will feature two solid weeks of mundane reporting, over analysis and down right stupid insights into events concerning the game.

You can bet there will be several “dead horse” stories reported during hype weeks. I call them “dead horse” stories because they will be beaten to death by every form of media in the country. Chances are we will be writing some of the “dead horse” stories right here on The Dawg’s website. So what are the stories that we don’t really need to hear any more about?

Ray Lewis Last Game: Okay, great! it is his last game. I hope he doesn’t get hurt like he has been for most of the season. His little entry dance he does at the beginning of games is more  comical than inspiring and I think he over uses the eye black. He is a pretty good linebacker. He isn’t the best that ever played or even the best that played this year. He’s had a good career. Play well, retire and shut up, Thank you. The story the media will beat to death Ray Lewis makes us think he is really important.

The Harbaugh’s: Granted this is pretty unique to have two brothers coaching against each other in the big game. It’s not worth all the  ink they are going to get but for a one time story it’s okay. I can just see it  now, every morning TV talk show will try to have the coaches wives on, the parents on, their cousins on all to talk about stuff that nobody cares about. They are football coaches, they are related, they don’t want the hype and we shouldn’t have to hear it either. The story the media will beat to death, those Harbaugh’s must have similar DNA to the Manning’s.

Colin Kaepernick: He is the quarterback for San Francisco. He wasn’t the starting quarterback until the middle of the season and in his time he has played well. He has  done what many talented quarterback do in the NFL for a few games. He has been able to catch teams off guard. He isn’t a super hero. He does have some good receivers, running backs and offensive linemen too. The story the press will beat to death. Colin came from a small school and he is pretty good, how the hell did that happen?

Joe Flacco: He doesn’t suck. A lot of people in Baltimore think he does, they don’t think he is flashy enough and fast enough and all of those other things that Kaepernick appears to be. All Joe Flacco does is win games. He is kind of  boring so they media will be looking to find some little nugget about him to make him seem interesting. Flacco isn’t covered in tattoos like Kaepernick, he  looks like  he should be a waiter at the Olive Garden. The story the press will beat to death. Joe Flacco is an average Joe and that’s not sexy enough.

Roger Goodell In New Orleans: Funny seeing you here Mr. Commissioner, thank you for the great hose job on the Saints this year. I am sure there will be stories of Mr. Goodell’s person being threatened and stories of irate Saints fans not wanting him around. Big deal, the season is over so let’s get over it. The Media can’t let that happen because there will be enough jackwagons making just enough noise in front of a TV camera to give us all a bad name. The story the media will beat to death, “Crazed Saints fans want Goodell Dead”.

Mark my words by this time next week you will be sick of hearing about all of these stories yet still there will be  more and more them to come. They will come from slightly different angles and the characters will change slightly but these are the stories that will become this year’s Dead Horses of the Super Bowl.

 

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