I am a gentleman of a certain age. That age is 52 about to be 53 if I live to election day. I recently had pink hair. Yes, I am a rebel. Eventually that pink hair faded to blond and the roots grew out beneath the partial color I had put in for the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure.

That picture to the left, that's what it looked like.

 

It looked like I had a calico cat using the litter box between my ears. I am not a pretty man and having multicolor hair probably did not enhance my personal beauty. But that is not the reason for this narrative.

In getting my hair cut the other day, the stylist asked me a question I had never been asked before. She asked if I would like to have my ears and eyebrows clipped.  I replied by asking, "do they need to be clipped"? She said I had some long hairs sticking out of my ears and my brow looked bushy and unkempt.

I told her to please trim me up because a man with unkempt eyebrows and hairy ears cannot be seen in public, at least with my family. That got me to thinking. There are several of us gentlemen of a certain age floating around the radio station. The past few days I have been sneaking glances and almost all of us have hairy ears and eyebrows that look like a used S.O.S. pad. Why the hell is that?

Some scientist believe it is linked to  testosterone.  Testosterone is that most manly of all man hormones. The testosterone has a cumulative effect that takes the fine ear and eye hairs of our youth and turns them into small collections of barbed wire. The hair has always been there it's just never been noticeable.

So if you notice a gentleman with hair in places you don't normally expect to find hair it just means that he is full of that stouthearted man juice. It's the testosterone that keeps his voice deep, his barbeque skills keen , and his interest in the new Victoria's Secret catalog at a slightly uncomfortable level.

The irony of all of this is while my ears, eyes, and nose are growing more hair than a French woman's pits, the hair on my head is becoming more vacant and shallow than a politician's promises.  I guess God does have a sense of humor or maybe this is just his way of saying " I gave you a lifetime to get over yourself, now I'm gonna prove my point".

Regardless we men of a certain age have nothing to be self conscious about when it comes to gnarly ear hair or eye brows that look like they were made from 70's shag carpeting. All that extra body fiber means is that inside you've still got what takes to make you a man, it's a shame we're to out of shape, tired, and absentminded to put it to good use anymore.