ButtleOpener is a life-size replica of a woman’s panty-clothed buttocks that serves as a novelty beer bottle opener. Because, of course it is. Watch the ButtleOpener in Action:

While we readily acknowledge that there is probably a woman somewhere in America who can perform this practical function with her real-life lady parts (and, no, we haven’t seen that video yet), we think that the ButtleOpener may be seen as an engineering marvel that would be a fine addition to your basement bar, rod and gun club or local honky-tonk.

But you won’t hear that important marketing message from NASCAR.

NASCAR, the racing organization that brought you cars powered by erectile dysfunction drugs, Hooters and various beer companies, did not allow ButtleOpener to sponsor a car on the circuit because they felt the logo, with butt cheek-shaped swoops, was in poor taste.

What in the name of Larry The Cable guy is wrong with those NASCAR fellers?

A nice kicker to the story is that Mark Gregory, the co-inventor of the ButtleOpener, is a  member of the school board of Williamson County, Tenn. He and his brother Brent were divinely inspired when they birthed the ButtleOpener:

“…Gregory said he and his brother thought of the product while sitting in a bar after a round of golf. His brother mentioned the buttocks of a particular woman were firm enough to open a beer bottle.”

Truth: Orville and Wilbur Wright don’t have nothin’ on the Gregorys.

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