I don't know why I was on that part of the Internet when I came across this statistic. Here's what it said, "a single fart burns approximately 67 calories, and that farting 52 times in one day can burn a whole pound of fat". Sweet Baby Jesus! Get me a bowl of red beans and rice, I am about to become a fitness model on Instagram.

However, not everything you read on the Internet is true. This is one of those things that apparently isn't true either. It makes sense that it's not true when you really think about it.

Just how much effort does it really take to fart? Not much, just ask your grandmother as she is walking across the living room floor. Somehow I don't think Gran Gran is qualifying for cardio with her backdoor soliloquy.

Personally, I would think you'd burn more calories trying to maintain control of your gaseous content than you would by letting nature take its course. That restricting a fart takes a lot of muscle control and complete mental focus. Maybe that's the reason men usually sound so stupid on first dates. They're focusing too hard on maintaining decorum instead of engaging in delightful conversation.

What's even more interesting is this "fact" was first busted back in 2015 when a site with reported ties to Google confirmed the statement. Fast forward three years and the same fact is back still just as false and just as heartbreaking for those of us who thought we'd be getting six pack abs by downing six-packs of Schlitz Beer with boiled cabbage.

Dang, I hate it when the Internet lies to me.

 

 

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