My family, well part of my family just got back from at trip to New York City. It's a great place to visit but living there would be tough for this old Southern boy. They talk funny up there! They don't even understand some of the most elementary of phrases. For example.


  • Sky Racing via YouTube
    Sky Racing via YouTube

    Got Gone

    That means no longer here. It could apply to a sold out special on press on nails at Walmart to a cousin leaving for prison. If something has "got gone" you're going to have to look over yonder to find them.

  • Tullio M. Puglia, Getty Images
    Tullio M. Puglia, Getty Images

    Woke Up Dead

    This is taking "got gone" to its final definition. Woke up dead implies that the deceased was actually sleeping but when they awoke they were no longer of this Earth. It's a lot more comforting to say than a person flat out died. That's cold and disrespectful.

  • Staff Photo
    Staff Photo

    My Eyeballs Are Floating

    This is simply more ladylike to say than "I need to go pee". Although Southern women will use that one too. The floating of the eyeballs insinuates that the backed up body fluid has collected from the groin area all the way up through the neck and is now affecting brain function. Ladies you know if you're at a concert you better get in that long line before the float begins.

  • Justin Sullivan/Getty Images
    Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

    That Dills My Pickle

    The art of pickling is a Southern trait that is passed down from generation to generation. The idea of taking a regular cucumber and turning it into a pickle in all its pickle goodness is a reason to celebrate. When your pickle is "dilled" it's a happy time. You could just say I am happy but that's not as fun as talking about pickles.

  • Courtesy NOAA
    Courtesy NOAA

    Off Like A Herd Of Turtles

    You probably figured out that these means " to start slowly". Think of a legislative session or getting your kid to clean up the house. For some reason, neither of those two activities seem to start with a bang. I have never seen a herd of turtles if I had ever seen one I would have made some rice and enjoyed a little turtle soup.

  • Scott Olson, Getty Images
    Scott Olson, Getty Images

    Tougher Than A Bus Station Steak

    One upon a time in Eutaw Alabama, think Morman but with far fewer teeth, my family stopped at the local bus station to eat. Okay, it was a restaurant that happened to be a bus station. I still remember trying to hack through what the waitress said was a ribeye steak. I used two steak knives, a chisel, and I borrowed an old man's dentures and still could not cut that meat. If someone or something is tougher than a bus station steak,  you'd better not mess with them.

  • Brendan Hoffman/Getty Images
    Brendan Hoffman/Getty Images

    Windy As A Sack Full Of Farts

    My very first radio boss used this term to describe my radio program. He was insinuating that I talked too much and what I had to say stunk. That's a great way to start a career. I bet you know people where you work that this could apply to. Just contemplate any staff meeting or conference call and let your Southern charm just come oozing right out.

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