An Olympic Conspiracy: How KATC TV-3 Meteorologist Dave Baker Secretly Became U.S. Swimmer Ryan Lochte
In conjunction with a source that has requested to remain anonymous, Our team of researchers has uncovered the groundbreaking news that American gold medal swimmer Ryan Lochte is actually the alter ego of mild mannered KATC meterologist Dave Baker.
According to our source, Baker, a member of the Western Illinois University Swim Team during his collegiate days, first created the Lochte character after a series of mysterious weather incidents in 1993 and 1994.
It all started back in ’93. We were working at WTWO in Indiana at the time and a horrendous tornado outbreak came through and just ravaged the area. It shook us all up pretty bad, but Dave was especially upset. Those twisters changed him. He wasn’t the same Dave Baker after that.
[via Anonymous Source]
Our source goes on to reveal that Baker’s erratic behavior peaked in ’94, after an “Artic Cold Blast” sent record low temperatures through the Indiana region.
The “Blast” was intense. Most of us couldn’t handle it. It was minus 31 degrees in the studio for pete’s sake! It didn’t seem to bother Dave though. It was like the cold weather didn’t affect him. I had never seen anything like it. It was like he wasn’t just reporting the weather, he WAS the weather. Then, he just disappeared.
(Following the mysterious “Artic Blast” Baker joined KATC in April of 1994.)
Though it has never been proven, it is widely speculated that the mysterious weather events of ’93 and ’94 left Baker with other-worldly abilities that allow him to live life as both beloved weatherman Dave Baker and his infamous Olympic alter ego Ryan Lochte – simultaneously.
Creating Ryan Lochte
The tangled and intriguing web of evidence that connects Baker to Lochte is difficult to see at first and is at times intentionally misleading. What first triggered our investigation, was Lochte’s striking resemblance to the KATC meteorologist.
This combined with Baker’s freakishly accurate weather forecasts, and out-of-this-world six-pack abs peaked our curiosity. But with limited resources available to research the past of the mysterious weatherman, our investigation seemed to be going nowhere. That all changed with the discovery of our anonymous source.
Baker’s a smart guy. He knew he couldn’t pursue his swimming dreams and be a weatherman. Society would never allow it. That’s why he had to create Lochte.
This astonishing revelation would explain some of the grill-wearing swimmer’s more ridiculous interview quotes and antics, ranging from his recent admission to peeing in the Olympic warm-up pool, to his mother (a paid actress) claiming that her son, “Only has one night stands”.
That’s the best part. Baker threw everyone off by making Lochte a complete tool. Nobody would suspect straight shooting Dave Baker of moonlighting as the world-class narcissist Lochte. It was the perfect cover.
Ryan Lochte Is Terrible At Interviews
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- Dave’s younger boys compete on a USA Swimming Team in Lafayette
- As a teenager Dave was a National Qualifier in YMCA and USA Swimming
- Dave was a member of the Western Illinois University Swim Team
- He is certified as an official for LHSAA and USA Swimming
- Ryan Lochte can’t be THAT stupid and into himself…
A Man With Two Lives
The connection of dynamic weatherman Dave Baker to his alter ego Ryan Lochte begins to get blurry when attempting to explain the one question that has alluded our investigation: How does he do it?
Though our researchers maintain that the traumatic weather events that occurred in ’93 and ’94 left Baker with mysterious abilities, our team still cannot explain what exactly those abilities are, or how Baker uses those abilities to live two lives.
Is there something he’s not telling us? Does our beloved meteorologist have a secret? Can Dave Baker control the weather? We may never know for sure…
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