It’s Time To Buy A Hovercraft
Really, you’ve been putting it off for so long now. But you’ll be getting your tax refund soon, so why not finally get that hovercraft you’ve been dreaming of?
Hammacher Schlemmer, that venerable catalog of things you’ll never really need but have always wanted, is now offering a real-life flying hovercraft for the low, low price of $190,000. This puppy can spin up to a top speed of 70 miles per hour using a twin-cylinder fuel-injected engine. A separate lift fan raises it up from the ground, allowing you to skim over water and land easily. Unlike traditional consumer hovercrafts, you can adjust the lift fan speed to “hop” over obstacles, and it can climb inclines of up to 30 degrees.
All you need is to put some sweet underlighting in and you’ll get all the girls when you pull up to the club. This is totally how George Jetson got his shawty.