We all spend way too much time in an office, whether it’s a cubicle in a large multinational corporation or a little desk we’ve set up in a living room in our homes.

The latter is actually less of an office and more of a work space where you don’t get fired for looking at nudie pictures or playing Words with Friends on Facebook.

Of course, some offices are dirtier than others. Here’s how to tell it’s time to fire up the leaf blower for a little light dusting.

1. A stack of papers fell off your desk and the Jaws of Life were required to rescue the three people trapped under it.

2. The rats hired a maid to clean up their hole in the wall.

3. The office kitchen has a family of desert nomads living in it.

4. The smelting plant, the paper mill and the landfill next to you keep calling to complain about the smell.

5. You work at Hoarders International.

6. Iran is trying to buy the leftover pizza in your fridge to power the core of its nuclear weapons.

7. The janitor quit because the company would only allow him 24 hours a day to clean up the place.

8. To make ends meet, the company agreed with a waste management agency to bury some nuclear waste in the ladies’ room.

9. You were sent home for showering.

10. The donuts you left for everyone in the conference room to help them on a difficult Monday was eaten by stray mongrel dogs.

11. The company’s founding year was determined by carbon dating the meatloaf in the commissary.

12. The last health inspection that covered the entire building gave the highest rating to the asbestos in the walls.

13. You go through more Febreze than Charlie Sheen.

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