So many issues and problems are circling around us right now that the environment can fall pretty low on the list of our priorities. Heck, making sure we have clean socks on everyday is a more pressing environmental priority.

This isn’t just a random thought from our collective subconscious. It’s a hard cold fact. A recent study found only a third of Americans actually cared about what was happening to the environment. Here are some ways to tell we’re not really interested in keeping our world in tip-top shape:

1. Gucci has started selling designer gas masks.

2. The president of the local nuclear power plant insists that nuclear power is totally safe and the other head growing out of his shoulder says he agrees with him.

3. Hummer unveils a new styrofoam car.

4. Mom helps get the kids ready for their walk to school by pulling up their snow pants, wrapping them in their winter coats and zipping up their Hazmat suits.

5. The country’s new secretary of energy is the “Give a hoot, don’t pollute” owl.

6. The head of BP appears on television demanding a “Thank you” from the Gulf Coast for getting it so much free tourist publicity.

7. Every year around Christmas time, kids play outside in the hot weather building “garbage men.”

8. Disney’s Animal Kingdom has the world’s largest rainforest.

9. Cigarette companies are going out of business because everyone can get their nicotine hit just by breathing.

10. Your water purifier needs a water purifier.

11. The world’s most drinkable water comes from the Hudson River.

12. Coppertone’s highest SPF sun lotion also doubles as shoe polish.

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