The Las Vegas Restaurant Your Cardiologist Would Love

There is a waiver and disclaimer that is printed on the front door. It warns that eating at this establishment should be done so at your own risk. At first, you might think it is all tongue and cheek and part of the attraction of the place. The fact is this, more than a few of this restaurant's patrons have actually been carted away in ambulances.

We were greeted at the door by a buxom young lady wearing what could have been defined as a nurses outfit. I won't say uniform because that wouldn't be respectful to actual nurses who do actual life-saving work wearing actual professional medical clothing. This was a costume and it was all part of the ambiance of the restaurant.

We were then informed that this was a cash only establishment and that proper dress was required. The proper dress, in this case, was a hospital gown. The establishment declined my offer to remove all of my clothing but my underwear. I guess they have "standards" they must uphold. Besides, it would probably have disrupted the appetites of the other patrons.

The place, The Heart Attack Grill, where anyone over 350 pounds can eat free. The location Winky Dinky Dawg and I dined at is located in downtown Las Vegas. I know there was another location on The Strip but we were checking out downtown at lunchtime.

The entire menu of the Heart Attack Grill would send a PETA supporter into a full-blown hissy fit. I am pretty sure that most nutritionist would need oxygen and a lettuce rub down to recover from the effects of just perusing the items.

The choices are simple. You can have a hamburger or you can have a hot dog. You can have fries and you can have a soda or an alcoholic beverage. Many of the sodas are in-house creations made with pure cane sugar.  There aren't any diet sodas on the menu so don't ask. The "salad" consists of long leaf tobacco rolled in paper. We call them cigarettes.

The burger consists of a half-pound patty of ground beef. You can ask for as many patties as you'd like on your bun.You have the option of onion, tomato, cheese, and bacon. You can add extra bacon if you're so inclined.

Wink opted for a basic burger with one patty, it's called the single bypass. The restaurant's burger choices go up to the Octuple Bypass. That would be eight half pound hunks of beef.

I went for the hot dog. It's a half pound sausage smothered in chili, cheese, and bacon. Again, the option to add more bacon is available. It is served on a bun that would rival a baguette of French Bread. It is toasted, I am guessing in butter, and holds up mighty well to the girth of the sausage and the weight of the condiments.

Besides potentially dying by gorging at the restaurant there is another caveat to dining at the Heart Attack Grill. If you don't clean your plate or basket as it were, you get a spanking.

That's right one of the curvaceous angels of mercy will slap your backside with a paddle three times.  I think the desire to be spanked or not spanked is based upon how intoxicated you happen to be.

I am sure your appetite is also affected by the strength of your relationship with your significant other. My guess is there are a lot of guys that really wish their friends would have opted for that "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" mantra instead of posting a spanking video on social media.

If you're wondering both Wink and I finished our meals. I think it was more out of hunger than fear of having to explain a cleavage enhanced altercation with a nurse/waitress in a downtown Las Vegas restaurant. Although the future Mrs. Winky Dinky Dawg did note that "he waited until after he finished his burger to start eating his fries".

One more side effect of our visit to the Heart Attack Grill, after dining there we began to speculate to one another about people we saw along the street and in the casino. Our question became, "Do you think they'd eat free"? That's sad and wrong. We did it anyway because sometimes we are sad and wrong.

I would have to say my experience at the Heart Attack Grill was a good one. The people were friendly.The wait staff/medical staff was charming and attentive. The food was good. The chili did stay with me for about 24 hours with every burp my body processed. It was an internal reminder that my belly was full and my butt was not sore, until the following morning.