There is a new super hero movie out at the theaters this weekend. I probably won't go see it because Burt Reynolds isn't starring but many of you  might not have the same high standards for movie watching that I do. In fact, judging by the weekend box office report, a lot of you have already seen The Avengers : Age of Ultron.

If you've not seen the movie or don't know squat about The Avengers let me give you the nickle description. The Avengers are basically a group of superheroes who get together to fight off bad guys. Back in the day we'd call them the Super Friends.  I think what the movie is saying that just because you have a super power it doesn't mean you have enough super power to do everything. You need other powers or friends with other powers to  wipe out the Nazis, control the Kremlin, or get the attention of customer service at Walmart.

That got me to thinking, what if I could pick five superpowers to have as my own? What superpowers would I want to have? Here is what I came up with. This is the kind of thing you think about when you're in a car and driving for 18 hours in two days.


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    Mind Control

    If you can win the hearts and minds of other people you can control their lives. Since I really don't need even more people falling in love with me. I think I will simply go with mind control. Parents, imagine being able to control your teenage children to wash the dishes or do the laundry without the threat of grounding. Oh what a peaceful world we would live in.

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    You're probably wondering just what the hell that is. It's just a big word meaning you could understand and speak any language. I have to admit I feel very insecure when I go into a Mexican restaurant and hear the orders being placed in Spanish. Or when I hear Jude talking to someone in French, I know he is talking about me and by the way he is laughing, I know he is talking about my hair. If I could understand and speak all languages at least I'd know why I was about to get mad.

  • Ethan Miller/Getty Images
    Ethan Miller/Getty Images


    I bet you think I am just showing off using all these big words don't you? Well I am trying to be precise in my descriptions and I have purchased on online thesaurus and I want to get my money's worth. Atmokenisis is the ability to control the weather. If I was headed to the beach, boom a lot of sunshine. If I was ready for everybody to come inside and fix me food, boom a thunderstorm. You'd have to admit you'd be pretty popular with farmers and festival organizers.

  • Justin Sullivan/Getty Images
    Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

    Time Travel

    Just think if you could go back in time and remember to remove that text from your phone. Or travel forward in time to see what horse was going to win the Kentucky Derby. You could stay out of trouble and be wealthy too. All because you are no longer limited by time and its constraints.

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    Staff Photo


    The ability to help heal those that are hurting would be a really nice power to have. I would especially help children. It would certainly be nice to replace sickness with health. I could get rid of Obamacare and start Brucecare. My plan would actually work though. Since I could travel in time I could go back in time and stop a lot of bad things from happening too.

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